


My Lot do not Send Rude Notes.

by The_Magic_Rat



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Mild Gore, feigned cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Magic_Rat/pseuds/The_Magic_Rat
Summary: Crowley stoops to extreme measures to keep himself and his angel safe.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 56





	My Lot do not Send Rude Notes.

_**Good Omens - My Lot do not Send Rude Notes.** _

_**Author: The Magic Rat  
Rating: R  
Pairings: Crowley/Aziraphale, Gabriel/Beelzebub  
Warnings: Gore, implied cannibalism.  
Word Count: 959** _

_**Website – Ex Libris: http://www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/index.html  
Live Journal: http://delaese.livejournal.com/profile** _

_**Disclaimer: All Good Omens characters, places and situations are the property of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Copyright for all stories and original characters is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.** _

_**Summary: Crowley stoops to extreme measures to keep himself and his angel safe.** _

_**Author’s notes: I have NO idea where this came from.** _

~*~*~*~*~*~

Snarling softly, Crowley allowed Aziraphale's maimed body to drop from his hands, landing on the filthy hall floor with a thud. His eyes flamed, and his teeth were bloody. Flesh and blood dripped down his chin, smearing his throat, covering his hands, and splashing the angel's clothes with scarlet. Ligur, Hastur, and Beelzebub gazed at him for a brief time before they turned away, walking into the darkness, leaving Crowley standing over the body. A few small demons scampered forward, intent on feasting upon angelic flesh, but Crowley uttered such a horrific roar that they scattered. He picked up the body and left Hell, heading to his own apartment and carrying the body into his bedroom. He dumped the angel onto his bed, then sat down heavily beside him, shaking, bloody, and tearful.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. 

Slowly Aziraphale sat up, looking at Crowley. His throat was badly lacerated, but the wounds were not deep, only penetrating the skin "You did what you had to, Crowley. There's nothing to forgive."

Crowley could not look at him. "I bit you pretty hard."

"You had no choice, they were coming, you had to do something or we would have been dead." Aziraphale reached out to gently take his bloodied hand. 

"I hurt you."

"You saved me. And I love you for it."

Crowley slowly forced himself to look at Aziraphale. "Do you...love me for any other reasons?"

Aziraphale had conjured up a bandage and began wrapping his throat. "Too many to name."

Crowley helped him to wrap the injury, clearly very distraught over having caused it. "Enough for a kiss?" he asked tentatively, as at last the wound was covered.

Aziraphale smiled, and leaned forward to kiss him gently, squeezing his hand. When it was over, they gazed at each other, noses touching, smiling.

"Why were you in Hell?" asked Crowley.

"Oh. I was coming to warn you that Beelzebub, Hastur, and Ligur may be on to us and we would have to think of something to convince them we're not working together."

"Oh," said Crowley. Then; "Mission accomplished, I suppose."

"Yes. And now you will have to be patient with me. This is my first temptation."

Crowley was clearly puzzled, but allowed himself to be kissed. Then, when he felt Aziraphale take his hand and draw it down to his thigh, and Crowley realized what he was being offered, he drew back, surprised.

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I think I've made you wait long enough. I think I've made myself wait quite long enough as well."

Crowley grinned. "Well, then, first temptation accomplished."

~*~*~*~*~*~

They lay together in bed, holding each other, unwilling to let each other go, when there was a sudden pounding on Crowley's door. They each sat bolt upright, listening.

"Crowley!" shouted Hastur. "Let me in ya flash bastard, I've something to tell you."

Crowley looked to Aziraphale. "Play dead."

"Shouldn't I just go out the window?"

"No, he'll smell you. Play dead, I'll take care of things."

"But..?"

Crowley took his hand and gently squeezed it. "Trust me, angel."

Aziraphale nodded, and flopped back to the bed as requested, leaving one wing out to dangle off the side of the bed. He closed his eyes, and felt Crowley do something with magic, then quickly remove the bandage around the angel's neck. He lay utterly still, and trusted Crowley to protect him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The door opened and Hastur walked into the apartment. He paused and looked around. 

"Where are you?"

"In here," said Crowley.

Hastur marched into the bedroom, and stopped. Crowley was lying in bed, clearly naked, only wearing enough sheet to _just_ cover him. He was propped against some pillows, smoking. Beside him in bed were what appeared to be the broken, bloody, and partially devoured remains of an angel. In the air were the unmistakable scents of angel, sex, death, and tobacco. Crowley slowly exhaled smoke.

"What do you want?" Crowley asked, covered in smears of dried blood.

Hastur just stared. Even for demons, this was a little much. "You had sex with it after you killed it?"

Crowley waved away a fly. "Well how else was I going to work up an appetite? Now what is it that brought you here?"

Hastur just...stared. Finally he spoke. "Beelzebub wants you on call for some important business, so don't go taking off like you do." Hastur stared a while longer at the dead angel. "Damn, Crowley, you're more hard core than we thought."

"Yes now why don't you go leave me to have at it? I'll make certain Beelzebub can reach me."

Hastur left. Aziraphale let out a sigh of relief, and looked to Crowley. "You played that part disturbingly well."

Crowley put out his cigarette, turned to his angel and kissed him. He laughed as Aziraphale pulled him close, caressing him.

"Again? Really?"

Aziraphale kissed him as Crowley snapped his fingers to clean up the room. "Well it's like you said. How else are we going to work up an appetite for lunch?"


End file.
